10/30/2020 0 Comments Love VoidI feel so empty. There is such a large void inside of me right now. It’s the lack of love. I used to only feel unloved. Now, it’s not just the torture of feeling unloved, it’s torture of not being able to love anyone. Even though my parents never treated me well, I still love them, and always did, and loving them (and my sisters and others) brought my life meaning. It made me as happy as I could be (I never really ever was happy, but it brought me as close to it as possible). I NEED to love people. Being out on my own, how can I? I need to be in a place where I can actively be loving people, because I feel this huge, huge void from no love going in or out. I need to at the very least be loving others or be loved. This state of not being able to do either is unbearable. I find that I don’t care about anything anymore. Do I care if I live? No. Do I care if I die? No. Do I care if I’m abused? No. Do I care if I get a job? No. Do I care if I live in the streets? No. I don’t care about a thing anymore. I feel nothing. The void is overtaking me. I need at the very least to love or be loved. Love has to be going in or out. I thought I’d be happy out on my own. I’m not. I need to be with loved ones.
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AuthorHi! I'm Anna, a currently transitioning transgender woman! I started my blog "Ramblings of a Trans Woman" as therapy for gender and identity issues and abuse from my parents and church. Hopefully, someone else out there can get something from this. If you want to talk, just get in contact with me, there's plenty of ways how and we'll discuss the best way to talk! Archives
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