5/25/2021 0 Comments May 25th, 2021I am a dirtbag Christian. Unfortunately, as I found out, I am not the first to come up with the term as there is already an existing Substack newsletter with the title. As it turns out, she came up with the name the same way I did and has a lot of the same reasons I now use the name. So, since she is now the de facto founder of "Dirtbag Christianity," here are some excerpts I want to focus on from her article explaining the term (you can read the whole article here: https://dirtbagchristian.substack.com/p/what-is-a-dirtbag-christian): If you’re unfamiliar with the term “dirtbag Christian” that’s okay. As far as I know, I made it up. Not because I’m particularly original or clever because I certainly am not, but because I stole the term from the so-called “dirtbag left,” a term coined to describe the leftists who shirk overly PC/Tumblr culture and generally don’t give a shit about politeness while there’s actual, real, horrific economic injustice in the world. This is exactly how I came up with the term as well, being an avid listener of "Dirtbag left" podcasts such as "Red Scare" and "Chapo Trap House." However, I love the dirtbag concept. The idea that you’re a shitty, unacceptable, controversial person in your own circles is something I recognize in myself in the context of Christianity, not politics. No matter where I was in my theological journey, no matter what church I was attending at the time, I’ve always been an outcast, and dare I say it, a rebel. I totally relate to this. Even when I was a disphit conservative fundamentalist who believed in a literal Genesis account of creation and the Earth being only 6,000 years old, I still didn't believe a lot of the narratives pushed by Answers in Genesis, and pushed back regularly. I literally got in trouble with the Children's Church teacher for challenging the all-knowing wisdom of Ken Ham. I challenged the world-wide flood narrative. I questioned their teachings on Jesus. Even outside of theology, my lifestyle wasn't considered ok. I was always a wimp. I have been in more fights than I can count, and have never won a single one. I have lost to kids five years younger than me. That's how physically wimpy I was. I had no muscle mass, no matter how much I tried. I also acted a bit effeminate. That also wasn't acceptable. Between my wimpiness and being effeminate, I got bullied a lot and many adults had a poor view of me. I wasn't the "manly man" I was supposed to be. So, yeah, even when I was as conservative and fundamentalist as it got, I still was an outcast and rebel. I had no friends the majority of the time. I fully relate to what was said in the last quote. I have never been acceptable even in my own circles. Even today as a progressive trans woman I still butt heads with other trans women over trans issues and theology because apparently I hold "unacceptable" positions. My dirtbag Christianity is best represented when I’m getting stoned off my ass and listening to mewithoutYou, or when I’m posting thirst trap pictures where both my Jesus fish tattoo and barely concealed, obviously pierced nipples are visible, or when I’m reading the Bible app and trying to pray for myself to not actively wish death threats upon prominent conservative figures, or when I’m playing Final Fantasy XIV and making references to Vintage21 Jesus parody videos that nobody else gets, or when my kids giggle as I accidentally drop the f-bomb in front of them for the 10th time that day. Here we go. Everything is now getting neatly summed up, and there's a lot I relate to. One of those things is actively trying not to wish death upon prominent conservative figures. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of times where in my head I envisioned some conservative figure getting beat to death after hearing them say something awful. In fact, there have been times when I have found myself starting to ask God for death, injury, illness or just any kind of serious harm before having to stop myself and ask for forgiveness. Anyway, I like what she said. Being a dirtbag Christian is an attitude. It's not giving a fuck about being respectable, about being some kind gentle Christian with all the answers and trying to unify with evangelicals. Like her, I don't give a single fuck about whether evangelicals consider me a Christian or not. Evangelicals can kiss my ass for all I care. Even more than that though, it's having that kind of attitude in regards to ALL Christians, not just evangelicals. Stop caring whether your theology is acceptable or not. Not caring if other Christians consider your life or presentation to be acceptable or not. I don't give a fuck. I have no interest in toning down my language because it might offend other Christians sensibilities, and I have no interest in changing my theology because it's not "orthodox" or because it's "heretical." Your pastor can kiss my ass as well. I don't care what some dude who went to Seminary and has a Master in Divinity thinks about my theology. I never listened to pastors or any person a Christian is "supposed" to listen to, and I don't plan to start doing so. I don't need your approval of my life, theology, or whatever. Now, here is where I without a doubt will take it far beyond what the writer of the article I am quoting would ever take it. For me personally, reading all this really helped set in place what I have believed for years now but have never been comfortable saying in public: the American church is irreparably broken and I hope it burns. I hope the American church becomes such a massive embarrassment to the point it burns down in such a blaze that the entire world takes notice. I want Christians to feel that they have no choice but to pretend that they're not Christians if thet want to have any place in society. The church is broken. It is founded upon oppression. It's entire theology and structure is based upon the oppression of women, black people, immigrants, queer people, poor people, and any other marginalized group you can think of. It has been built specifically to prop up the evangelical rich white straight cisgender male and fuck everyone else over. There is not a single Christian thing about the American church. It propped up slavery and segregation and even today is pro-mass incarceration and pro-drug war. It is anti-immigrant. It has always pushed to ensure women have no rights. It views "The Handmaid's Tale" as a guidebook of what to do rather than what not to do. The church has no regard for the widow or orphan. In fact it scorns both and actively makes life harder for both. It promotes capitalism, and all the evil that comes along with it. It supports Trump who is undeniably an anti-Christ. The church has a rotted foundation. It can't be saved. Let it burn, and then, once it does, I and others will be glad to swoop in and help build the church up. Until then I have no interest in being part of the American church. It simply is fundamentally against everything the Bible actually teaches. Anyway, reading this article helped me feel more comfortable with being open with my views, such as this one. It has helped me to give less of a fuck of what others think. Not censor myself to not offend others. I have no interest in being respectable. I have no interest in being a diplomat. I have come with a flamethrower, and I intend to use it. That is who I am. The one who questions everything and to whom nothing is sacred. The one who says what no respectable progressive theologian or blogger would ever say, because, you know, it's not "respectable." I have come with a sword, just like Jesus demanded. Jesus was not some peace-loving advocate as he has been presented as. He told the disciples to go buy swords. He Himself said He came with a sword and intended to cause divisions. He wrecked the temple courts. When the Romans came to arrest Him and Peter cut off the guy's ear, Jesus told the Romans, NOT Peter that anyone who lives by the sword dies by the sword. It wasn't a warning to Peter, it was a warning to the Romans. Jesus isn't a peace advocate. So, I follow His example. I am here to kick ass in the trans and theological discourse. Besides, it's not like I have anything to live for or have a reputation to defend. I have always had a bad reputation and never had a life anyway. Anyway, I will end this article with this paragraph with no comment, because, honestly, what is there to add? I still identify as a Christian. I’m deeply obsessed with the figure of Christ, with the idea of overthrowing empires and pushing forth the lowest class people and all the other rejects. I want to find the most controversial, trashiest, broken people and see more God in them than any of the all-American mannequin pastors with their perfect teeth smiles. I imagine the kingdom of God here on earth, and I see the Resurrection as a reminder that no matter how bad things look, they can get better again. It’s the only optimism left in my hopelessly cynical life some days, and it’s enough. Jesus is enough. And at the end of the day, I still want everyone around me to feel like they’re enough, too. To subscribe to the Dirtbag Christian newsletter, go here: https://dirtbagchristian.substack.com/
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AuthorHi! I'm Anna, a currently transitioning transgender woman! I started my blog "Ramblings of a Trans Woman" as therapy for gender and identity issues and abuse from my parents and church. Hopefully, someone else out there can get something from this. If you want to talk, just get in contact with me, there's plenty of ways how and we'll discuss the best way to talk! Archives
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