8/18/2020 0 Comments Not Worrying About Tomorrow"Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 CSB) One of the many sayings that Christians love to throw around a lot is "don't worry about tomorrow." Another saying many Christians love to throw around is "blessed not stressed." The message is clear in both: don't be stressed. That's a lot easier said than done. Take it from me, someone who's known nothing but stress. Even as a child I was stressed out more often than not. So, I know first-hand how tough not being stressed is. I don't really know life without it.
Growing up in Toledo, OH at the church my family attended, and even became one of the pastoral families of, there was a missionary who we learned about a lot named "Otto Koning." He was a missionary to New Guinea. While he was there he decided to make a pineapple garden which the natives stole from constantly. This made him very angry, and he was often trying to catch them and at one point even had a german shepherd flown in to protect the crop. During the seven year period of him protecting the pineapple garden, he did not have a single conversion to Christianity. Then he finally went to the states for a conference where he decided to give his garden to God. The fate of the pineapples were strictly in God's hands now as it was His garden. If God wanted to allow His pineapples to be stolen by the natives, then so be it. Otto stopped stressing out about it. The natives noticed a difference in him. They thought he had finally become a Christian as he was now living as he had been telling them to live for seven years. After this seven year debacle he finally got his first conversion. Whats' the moral of the story? Give it all to God. Lay your worries upon Him. Now, this sounds great and all, but man, that's still quite hard to do! Yes, yes, it is. This year I feel that I learned how to, at least to a decent extent. So, before beginning my transition, as some of you long-time readers know, I was a wreck. I was a suicidal, anxious, anti-social, no hope for life mess. A few days before my transition, COVID was starting to break out across America, and a case had finally hit Indiana, only an hour away from my home. My dad was going in full-shutdown mode, he didn't want us kids going anywhere, and so I was frightened that I wasn't going to be able to begin transitioning. So, finally, I got so stressed out, so worried, so scared that in the little alleyway behind our house, I got on my knees and laid my transition in God's hands, I told Him that He could worry about all the details and getting me to the informed consent clinic since He was God, and I was a mere person, incapable of doing anything apart from Him. The stress didn't leave immediately though, I had to constantly keep handing it over to Him, basically, keep praying for Him to deal with it all for about an hour or two before the anxiety went away. And for awhile, I struggled. I would feel no anxiety for a few hours, then it would come back, then I would pray for God to take my worries upon Himself, and they would go away for a few more hours. Eventually, over time I found myself going weeks without anxiety. Then, after a few weeks anxiety would come back, usually last a few days, and after consistent prayer, the anxiety would go away. That cycle has gone on for several months now. I don't expect to ever be free of anxiety, it's human nature to be anxious afterall, but I truly do thank God for taking my worries upon Himself and carrying them for me. So, my encouragement to you, the reader, is to try it yourself. It will take time and dedication to being in prayer, but I do believe it will be worth it in the end.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorHi! I'm Anna, a currently transitioning transgender woman! I started my blog "Ramblings of a Trans Woman" as therapy for gender and identity issues and abuse from my parents and church. Hopefully, someone else out there can get something from this. If you want to talk, just get in contact with me, there's plenty of ways how and we'll discuss the best way to talk! Archives
June 2022
CategoriesAll 2020 Abuse April 2020 Christianity Febraury 2020 Love Marriage |