4/16/2020 0 Comments What I NeedI read an article about loving yourself, learning how to do it more specifically as that has been my greatest struggle. I do not love myself, and I do not know how to do it if I am being honest. I have never known what love is as I have never been loved and have never been around people who love each other. I don't have any examples to look at for love. My only knowledge of love is that I know I am unloved, and what I know from studying psychology and the Bible. Basically, I know it is nothing like how Disney presents it. I know that it's something I so desperately crave, something that I'm so lacking in that it has driven me to attempt suicide and it has made me touch-starved. Not being loved (and crippling gender dysphoria, which is thankfully gone now due to the fact I'm finally transitioning) has made life feel meaningless, it has made me feel as if the only thing life brings is pain. It feels as if that's the meaning of life, to suffer greatly and hopefully you make it through a believer in Christ and get rewarded for living a life of great suffering. Never to know joy or love. Anyway, getting to the point, the article I read said that you should write down the things you need emotionally and things that are important to you to the point that you are upset if they are ignored or violated. One of the things that I need is getting hugs. I so desperately need to be hugged. I need to be listened to. I need to be able to spill out my soul, to let out my troubles and hurts and inner thoughts to someone. I need to know that I'm cared about enough for someone to listen to me. I need to know that someone truly cares about me, and wants to know me for who I am, and not who they want me to be. I need people to accept me for who I am, including the fact that I'm trans. I need to be treated as a human being, not a robot who's only job is to make my parents look good and feel good. I need to be treated as an adult, not like a little child incapable of making my own decisions and has to be told what to do non-stop. I need to have friends. I need to have a family, a true family that actually has my back and wants what's best for me. I need to know that my flaws are not covering up and seen as overwhelming over my positive attributes. These are the things I can think of off the top of my head in terms of emotional needs that I need to have met and get upset when they are violated.
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AuthorHi! I'm Anna, a currently transitioning transgender woman! I started my blog "Ramblings of a Trans Woman" as therapy for gender and identity issues and abuse from my parents and church. Hopefully, someone else out there can get something from this. If you want to talk, just get in contact with me, there's plenty of ways how and we'll discuss the best way to talk! Archives
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